i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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