I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
