I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
