Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just google imaged poop.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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