I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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