My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
