I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
