i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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