spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
