so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Randomize
