She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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