we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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