And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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