I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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