1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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