I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
