Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
