My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
