ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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