i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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