Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
