Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize