he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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