it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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