there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
