Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
