Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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