More tranny stories later!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
