she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
