Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
