I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
