True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize