did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
