Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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