It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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