So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
not ubering you a puppy
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
