just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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