I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
