I molested 6 butterflies tonight
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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