How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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