he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize