i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
