It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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