There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Alive.
So much puke
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
