people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
