More tranny stories later!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
