Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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