I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
