she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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