Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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