yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
