Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
