There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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