This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
