My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think I am morally bankrupt
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
