Pregnant stripper...not hot.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
