Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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