wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
