I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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