I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
50% drunk capacity currently
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
