Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
