he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
