is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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