The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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