Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
